Sunday, June 27, 2010

A letter I will probably never send...

Dear ____________,

I am writing this letter because I care. I am not judging. I am not trying to hurt you. I am writing because I want everyone in this situation to heal.

All he wants is to know that you care. All he needs is to know that you love him, that you always have. He needs to know that you are proud of the man he has become. He needs to know that even though he didn't come into this world planned for or even wanted...that you are glad he came into your life. I know this may seem odd to you. In your mind he DOES know that. But he needs to hear it...because he doubts.

He knows he has disappointed you. He knows that he isn't perfect. But he deserves to know that you love him despite anything he could ever do.

I do not believe that you have ever or would ever intentionally hurt him. There was a time when I thought that might be true...but over the years I have realized that you don't see it. You don't see the pain in his heart. You don't see how your choices...your words effect they always have. He chose to put up walls instead of respond. I would love to see you tear them down.

Here is where you may get defensive. And let me preface...I am not saying these things to attack or make you feel bad. I truly want healing and forgiveness to take place...I want things to get better. You have been really inconsiderate of his feelings for about the last 8 years. You don't consider how your harsh words after too many drinks haunt him. He pretends not to care...but how could he not? He yearns to have you call, to be excited to see he is calling you. You have floated in and out of our lives like snow...for a few months you call, you send cards. And then it all stops. It's heartbreaking.

I want him to heal. I want him to wake up and KNOW that you care. I want that for him SO badly. I think if you look deep within you...past all of your hurts and do too. I honestly want you to know WE care, that we love you. I truly want YOU to heal.

There is a cure for your pain...for your bitterness. His name is Jesus. He is my friend. I know you know him. Let him set you free.