I got as close as I could...

Shawnee posted a blog from 2006 and it was a good one. And I wondered what I had posted on that exact day...I was just as pregnant and moody as she was at that point. Isn't it amazing...I am sure that God planned for her to do that so I would do what I did...here is the post that was 2 days before hers...the closest one I had...

Just what I needed to read and remember...I don't believe in coincedences....I believe God planned it all...then and now...

HERE IT IS:

God is AWESOME!!
What a week. OH...it's only Tuesday. Well, what a rough couple of days:)! MOnday was a bad day. The kind nightmares are made of. One of our baby goats died. Yes, died. The one morning Brad does't check on the little buggers & I walk out to discover a VERY sick Buzz Lightyear. He couldn't stand or move...he was barely breathing. It was AWFUL...way more than an 8 month pregnant woman can take. I didn't even WANT the goats but I sure didn't want the thing to die!! I frantically call Brad (who for the first time ACTUALLY answered when he was needed) who came home to acess the situation. His opinion was that it was not good....well, thank you Captain Obvious. The neighbor lady came by & was like...he's not going to make it. GREAT!! I am SUPPOSED to be getting ready to go to the doctor & I am trying to figure out what to do with a dead goat & how to explain to my three year old that his new pet is no longer here. SHEESH! Brad ends up taking care of the situation & Bish & I get ready to go to town. I was worried that God would be upset with us for not trying to get him some help (even though I don't think he could have been helped) but try rationalizing with someone who is 8 months pregnant...ain't happening. I prayed for Buzz & tried to go on but the tears kept coming. Finally, Bish & I were ready so we walked outside to the car. I decided to toss something in the trash on the way & noticed something. Something BEAUTIFUL! There, on our porch, was a huge, gorgeous Monarch butterfly...just sitting there. And not just sitting...I noticed that it was HANGING from it's now empty cacoon....it had just "hatched." I knew that God was telling me to chill out & that he was handling everything & that everything was okay....which I desperatly needed to know. You see...my mom has a thing with butterflies....she says God sends them as a reminder that He is with us & that things will be okay. And there, at a time when I needed it most....God reminded me of His daily miracles & that He was with us....all of us...even Buzz Lightyear. So...God is awesome. He knew two weeks ago when he placed that cacoon on my porch that in two weeks I would desperatly need a sign & that it would be delivered at PRECISELY the right moment....God's amazing love for his children is just so...awesome! To make things even more wonderful...there are NINE more cacoons hanging on my porch...LOVE IT!! Thank you God for your precious miracles & for loving me even at my worst...Happy Tuesday Friends!!!

Playing Catch up

I am behind. On everything. Not school or jobs or anything like that...just on the little things in life and I can't seem to catch up. I forgot Katie's birthday. For those of you who don't know Katie...she is my cousin and one of my best friends. She turned 24 on July 3rd and I didn't call her. I didn't send a card, I didn't sing happy birthday. I simply didn't realize the day had passed until she wrote something about it on her myspace. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!! I sent Jodi's bday present to her last month...her birthday was in APRIL!!! I still haven't gotten my dad a Father's Day card...I just can't catch up, Jodi got a promotion and I didn't send a card, Sheila lost her dad and the sympathy card is laying on my dresser. And it is really bothersome for me because that was my gift. I ALWAYS sent cards and thank yous...uh huh...yea...Shayden't birthday thank you's...HA. I don't even have a good excuse...I think is some kind of mental block and I can't figure it out. Maybe I should just go to the store...buy a handful of random cards, a book of stamps and then I will be prepared...that would be a GREAT birthday gift:).

Speaking of birthday's...mine is this week. I will be 29...the last official birthday of my 20's. You have NO idea how surreal that is. TWENTY NINE....the last year before thirty. You know...that magic age that you thought makes you OLD...scare bear!!! I am trying to embrace it...I realize now that 30 is not old. It is a rite of passage...:). RIGHT...tell myself that:). Seriously...I look at my life and the things I do and I wonder just how crazy my parents were at this age that I was oblivious to. They always seemed so boring and old...now I question how they spent their Friday nights while I was with the sitter:).

Okay...enough rambling...

YEA!!!

Please notice my brand new, very fabulous header:)! (And PLEASE don't tell my professor about the MANY grammatical errors in this blog...) I will try to let that inspire me to blog here again...

Thank you SHAWNEE for making it more...ME:)!!!!

Those pictures were taken at a Rattlesnake Roundup in Mangum, OK...yes...we are COUNTRY:)!!

Slacker

It has been brought to my attention how very badly I have been neglecting this blog. I do blog on myspace quite a bit but have been ignoring this page. I guess it is because this was more of a family blog and our family is...well...complicated? I have deleted the picture and will put one of the kids up soon....Shawnee is working on a new header...maybe I can get back on track.

The kids are fabulous...both are in here at the moment. Bishop is riding the excercise bike & begging for a pepsi. Shayden is sitting on the floor patting her babies to sleep. That is her new favorite activity...baby dolls. She LOVES them...she rocks them, feeds them, pushes them around in their stroller. But laying them down with a blanket and patting their backs is what gets me. SHe is a good little momma:). Bishop is five. I say that because it is the best way to describe him. He is precious and SO very smart but what an age!!! The attitude this kid can muster amazes me...I shouldn't be surprised seeing that I am his mom but wow!! He did pass pre-k so it is on to kindegarden next year!!!

I am not working much this summer. I am still doing the McD's and wedding planning but school is out so no more subbing. I wanted to work but with daycare going to cost me $1000 a month...I decided to finish up school and start taking the millions of tests needed to become a teacher. Homework has been challenging. I am SO tired of reading...but only two more classes. I am signed up to take a test next week...pray for me. I have seen the practice test and am REALLY apprehensive about it. I have applied for several jobs...my fingers are crossed....

Things are okay...I have good weeks where I feel like God is in control and things are on the right track and bad ones where I lose sight of that. I suppose that is normal. It has only been 6 months and I know that God will show me His plan when He is ready. Patience is just not my strong point....:).

I will try to do better....:)

OFFICIALLY UNMARRIED

Unmarried seems so much nicer...I hate the word divorce. However you put it, Brad & I are officially there. I went to court & finalized it today. It was a very surreal experience...I have NEVER been in a courtroom before. My attorney is a very nice guy & the judge was as well. It was very quick and painless.

I am relieved that this is over. Being in limbo for two months is not fun. I hate that things ended this way...no one ever gets married hoping for a divorce. I hope that Brad can come to terms with his demons for the kids sake...and so that he can be happy. I don't think he knows what it is to be truly happy...

I hate that I have lost my life. No, I didn't lose my actual life but I did leave a life behind. I am no longer a wife...I have moved away from my friends & peers...I have left that life behind. I gave up my beautiful home...I will lose friends just due to lifestyle. No one is to blame...it is just how it goes. It is hard...

God doesn't close doors without opening new ones...I know that. He has opened a couple & I am excited to find out where they lead....

Thank you for all the prayers...they have been felt. Please continue to pray for all of us...especially Bishop...he is having a hard time.

Well...

I guess I decided to keep this blog. And since I haven't blogged in awhile...I guess this will be a summary of the last two months...

* We have officially moved home to Burleson...it has been a transition but I think it will be good for everyone. The kids are doing very well...better than I would have expected. Bishop is a little whiny but nothing terrible. They are sharing a room and that seems to be going really well...I think they both like it?!?! If Bishop falls asleep before Shayden, you can hear her in there yelling at "Bubba:)"

*Bishop started his new school and loves it. He misses his old one but this one is all day so he likes that. AND, he gets to eat breakfast there & for some reason he LOVES that. He will start Tai Kwon Do today at our church...he is very excited about that...we'll see how it goes:).

*Shayden is growing up fast. I can't believe how close her 2nd birthday is approaching. She is not a baby anymore and it kind of makes me sad. She started daycare on Wednesday and she seems to love it! They go outside a lot which is just perfect for her. She is talking up a storm...her new favorite word is "psycho." When the kids are acting silly I call them that & she has picked it up....GREAT:).

*I still have no full time job. I started a McD's this week & I am also going to help a local wedding planner when she needs help. I should start subbing this week...please keep praying. I know God has a plan...

*The divorce is still impending. We are in a waiting period right now. It has been a very emotional ride but I feel like this is what has to happen. I know that there is no way that Brad & I can be together right now. I still pray for him daily...I hope that he can get it together...

* The pics are of the kids playing in the backyard and at a recent birthday party...

Things are going...not great, not bad...so I can't complain. I am not exactly happy with everything that is going on but I know that God does indeed have this all mapped out & He will show it to me in HIS time:). I have stepped out in complete faith...it has been hard...I have good days & bad. But I know...His will WILL be done...

Hope everyone is doing well....

Undecided...

I am not really sure what to do with this blog. I suppose we are still the Bakers....just in a different format. For those who don't know....Brad & I are getting a divorce. There are a LOT of things I would love to write but out of respect I will not. To sum it up quickly...Brad has a lot of issues from his past, he got involved with another woman, and moved out. It was rough for a couple of weeks but things are getting back on track. I am looking for a job and moving home. Brad seems to be stepping up as a dad on his weekends. We shall see. I will continue to pray for Brad but I have to move on. I feel good about life again...no more crying.

So...that leads me back to my question of what to do with this blog. It was originally created to keep Brad's mom & sister informed & so they could see pics of the kids. They neither one checked it so it became an outlet for me. Does anyone still read it? Let me know...

Have a fabulous TUESDAY:)!