Today was a stressful day. Shayden was fussy & I later found out at the doctor it was because she not only had an ear infection but her eardrum had burst. I only had to donate $85 to find that out. (No worries...your ear drum bursting is not as scary as it seems...I too PANICED but the eardrum can heal itself...science lesson of the day.) I am too tired for words due to the fussiness of said baby at nighttime. We lost another house in the bidding world of foreclosures so we STILL have no place to live. I yelled at Brad because I was stressed & that made me fell more crappy. I sent something by mistake & was upset about that....suffice it to say....not a great day.
I am edgy, grouchy & cranky. But as I sat down at the computer I looked at the pictures on my desk & I remember the sleeping husband in my bed. I HAVE the important things....I have 2 beautiful children that I adore. I am looking at the picture Bishop colored Shayden because he was sad that she didn't feel good & thinking....gosh, I am lucky. I can not imagine my life without my son....beneath that wild boy exterior is a heart of pure gold. His hugs could cure anything!! I love my family....Shayden has a personality all her own. She demands attention but she will reward you with a smile that makes you forget how high maintenance she REALLY is:). And then there is Brad. He has his flaws but he is my everything. He loves me far more that I deserve most days. I am lucky...he knows that....just ask him:). Above all of these things, I have a GOD who also loves me when I definitely don't deserve it. I am not worthy & yet he holds my hand anyways. I feel like i have let him down in this search for a house. I know that He will work it all out....I just have to trust. TRULY trust...."If you have a faith as small as a mustard seed NOTHING will be impossible for you." (Matt 17:20) I just need to remember that that is not a lot of faith....a mustard seed is small. I KNOW it will be okay....JESUS, I am making a public declaration...I TRUST YOU!! Put me in a house that is where you want me to be!! Let me be open minded about many things....stomp out satan & let us live in your will.
To my friend who has been wavering as well....we can make it. We need to look past the small stuff & see the big stuff. My dad has a ridiculous quote but it rings true..."Don't sweat the petty stuff & don't pet the sweatty stuff:)."
And I will leave you with my favorite quote & there is a prize for whoever can name the movie it came from....:)
"Don't let the man get ya down..."
4 months ago