School starts TOMORROW

...and I am sad. My son is 6 years old...yes, some of you that are reading this are getting old:). He is starting the first grade tomorrow...and though I am excited that he is getting older and growing up...a part of me is really sad that we are going back to school. I will miss being with him all day. Sure he has driven me crazy...but the times that he came and snuggled with me or the games of Operation or the "homework" we did most days...I will miss that. I will miss my baby girl as she goes to daycare. I MISS BEING A STAY AT HOME MOM! There I said it.

Why does that cause me guilt?? I feel selfish for wanting to be with my kids...how stupid is that??

Anyways...I am not excited for school to start. Bishop will do great...I feel really good about the dual language program he is going to be in. I really hope we can continue it until he is 6...but that is all in God's hands and not for me to worry about. It isn't a GT program but it is a "higher level thinking" option which is what he needs.

I do think I have decided to student teach first semester and unless God convicts me to sub or I find a job...I will be staying home second semester. I will take on more hours at McD's and get some more programs started for them...but I will get to spend more time with her. I WANT this last year...just her and I. I had Bishop for three years by himself...she deserves a semester.

I am okay with where we are. Living with my parents is...what it is. There are pros and cons but right now it works for us. My parents are in limbo for a couple of years as well so it just works. It isn't ideal...I miss painted walls:) but I also enjoy sneaking out for dinner with Brad after the kids are asleep. I am okay that I am not teaching...I feel like this is exactly where God wants us to be for now.

I will be praying for all the children going back to school tomorrow...God is severely missed in public schools.