Tuesday, September 12, 2006


I have been putting this blog off but Brad told me that I had to clean off my desk so here goes...

Martha Elnora Kirk
Many of my friends who read this will wonder who Martha is. That is because she was known simply as Mama & it was a name that suited her. I know that she has been many things to many different people. A wonderful wife for 56 years to my grandfather. A mother who would do anything for her two daughters. A friend to SO many...she knew how to just listen to people. But I remember her as a phenomanol Mama. As a child I thought she was perfect...she spoiled me rotten & not just with toys & material things. Love just poured from her heart & even her home. She ALWAYS had time to play or take me to feed the ducks. She even tried to teach me about hard work by getting me involved with chores on the farm. I assumed that everyone had a grandma like that. As an adult I realize just how blessed I was to have this amazing woman in my life. She was the kind of grandma that sent me a card EVERY week while I was in college. She was the kind of grandma that sent my son a card every week just to send him a dollar & let him know that he was SO loved by his grandparents that didn't get to see him as often as they would have liked. She was the kind of grandma that wouldn't tell anyone she was sick so she could see her youngest grandaughter graduate from college & hold my daughter just ONE time. It has been a rough couple of months. I still drive down the road & out of nowhere the tears will begin to fall. For a while, I wondered why that happened. I mean, I know it is hard, but time should help heal. I finally realized just why it is SO hard to let go. We all recieve unconditional love from our Lord & Savior but we recieve it from very few people on this planet. I finally realized that I had lost someone who loved me unconditionally. And it hurts really bad to know that I have lost someone that could do that. Many have asked to read what I wrote for her funeral so here it is. I thought it would be a hard task but there were so many wonderful things I could say that it took less than an hour.
10. For always staying caught up on our soap opera's so when I got behind or confused she could ALWAYS answer my questions!
9. For taking me to the farm as a child & spending hours upon hours helping search for the elusive peacocks & helping me gather their feathers.
8. For the countless trips to Lon John Silver's when I stayed with her & Papa. They always let me wear the silly hat & ring the bell on the way out.
7. For always helping me pick fresh peaches off of the neighbors tree (thank you Keith & Judy!!)
6. For helping to keep Mrs. Baird's in business by taking me to the reservoir at LEAST once a week to feed those ducks. I assure you that when I was a child that those ducks NEVER went hungry;)!!
5. For taking me with her to church on Monday afternoons to collect the attendence sheets & allowing me to play the piano for just a second because no one was there to frown on it:)!
4. For teaching me that there was NO reason to learn how to fry chicken because there was a Kentucky Fried Chicken just down the street:)!
3. For reading, "How to Make a Paper Hat" so many times that we both had it memorized & for helping me make us our OWN paper hats & for even wearing one with me.
2. For sending her grandpuppy a birthday card EVERY year. She understood that he was my first baby & who besides MY Mama would do that?
For teaching me what it is to be a wonderful, loving, Christian woman. She has taught me what unconditional love is. Her presence at all important functions was a given..she never missed a birthday party or dance performance but it was the little ways that she showed love that I am most thankful. She always made sure there was a chicken casserole at every family dinner because she knew that I didn't like turkey or brisket. She made sure when I went to college that I had something in my mailbox EVERY week. She still sends me cards every week filled with coupons & things she finds in the paper that she thinks Brad or I might like to read...I don't think she ever understood how much I loved to get those. She showed me that we are to love EVERYONE by always buying extra food at the grocery store to go to the food pantry. She showed me that just listening to someone can show more love than you can imagine. She was a living example of how to go through life with beauty & grace. She showed the strength of ten men in the end & never once complained...she STILL just worried about her family. I could never explain the love & admiration I have for my Mama...I can tell you that Martha Kirk has taught me about the kind of woman that I want to be...just like her.


Renee said...

Shana, it never goes away. There is no such thing as "grief recovery" there is only "grief management". Even 10 years later you can catch me from time to time tearing up over my Grandpa. There will come a day when you don't remember the last time you cried, and in that moment you'll cry.

Anonymous said...

I finally read it and the tears are streaming down my cheeks as I type this. This is SO hard and I have NO idea when it will get any easier. I love you and appreciate all you do trying to help us both get through this.